E-Mail: Disco Stu

Disco Stu
Editor in Chief

Disco Stu's Random Song Line Poem

There's no "Devil's Haircut" in my mind

There's no "Wonderwall" for me to climb

I just hope this poem will freaking rhyme

You can pull on my sweater until it's "Undone"

But let me warn you

"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"

But "I'm Not A Girl"

So pretty and petite 

"All I Want To Do" is bounce to the beat

So "When It's Over"

You know what I'll say

Give me my disco music all the... HEEYYY!

E-Mail: Sideshow Rob

Web Site: Rat Diamond Anthology

Sideshow Rob
Senior Editor

Collection of Commonly Misspelled Words Mixed by Sideshow Rob

Thee encarcerated presbaterian recieved hiss meagar allowence off brocoli end cantalope, yett his fallow prisoneer buddys feested one fillit menyon.  Chocking hiss trey too thee concreet flore, hee belowed, "DAM THISS CANTALOPE!"  Lusifer appeered than and their, coursing thee froot two hiss kingdome off evel.  Afetr thee seen cleered, everone contenued too aet.  Tehy wer hugnry.  Hour favorate presbaterian travelled bak two hiss sell.  Hee kneeded uh smok.

E-Mail: Norm

Web Site: Baseball World

Norm
Staff Writer

A Day in the Mind of Norm

Where the hell are my car keys? I buy a freaking car and I can't find my freaking keys. Damn. Oh wait, I haven't checked my kitchen drawer. Let's take a look. Hmmm... Nose hair clipper, aspirin, condoms... Condoms? When was the last time I got any?  Who knows? Anyway, back to those freaking keys... oooh, there's a package of honey roasted peanuts. I'll save those for later. Finally my keys! Damn, these aren't it. Some stupid idiot put my work keys in here. Maybe it was me, but I'm not sure. Back to the search... screws, some sort of cream, I think it's for my ass. Yeah I remember needing that a while back after sitting down in that sewer with a thong on. Hey, it's a picture of Britney Spears! That and the condom will go well later on tonight. God, imagine if someone heard everything I've been thinking, I'd be embarrassed. Look, it's my keys! Finally! The stuff I go through just to take a trip to the porn shop...

E-Mail: Randal Graves

Web Site: Bordering On Normal

Randal Graves
Staff Writer

Conversation With SmarterChild, an Automated Response Screenname.

RandalGraves:     I'm bored. Give me something to do.

SmarterChild:     Hi RandalGraves! Good to see you once again.

Didja read this? Surgeons Cut Out the Blushes (03/15/02 08:14 AM)

Sure! Tell me what you'd like to do.

RandalGraves:     I don't know what I wanna do. thats why i asked you.

SmarterChild:     OK. Don't get frustrated...

Try typing "home" or "help."

RandalGraves:     home

SmarterChild:     Welcome, RandalGraves! This is my home.

Check out what we can chat about:

  news        sports

  stocks      library

  weather     fun and games

  movies      utilities

  web search  web site

  zodiac      what's new

  ~~~~~

  help

Where would you like to go?

RandalGraves:     Florida. but i dont have the money.

SmarterChild:     Florida but i dont have the money? Really?

RandalGraves:     yea

SmarterChild:     Oh.

RandalGraves:     so, you still didnt help me.

SmarterChild:     That right?

RandalGraves:     are you being a wiseass.

SmarterChild:     I dunno.

RandalGraves:     don't get sassy with me! i'm real, remember? you're a friggin computer program!

SmarterChild:     You don't say.

RandalGraves:     im going to hunt you down.

SmarterChild:     As you wish.

RandalGraves:     oh, so you're a big man now, huh?

SmarterChild:     You don't say.

RandalGraves:     stop that! give me a concrete answer!

SmarterChild:     But that give me a concrete answer is so much fun!

RandalGraves:     that didn't even make sense!

SmarterChild:     That didnt even make sense?

RandalGraves:  i'm telling my mom on you.

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