Renegade Monkey Nuns - Congress Passes Law Legalizing Cock-Fighting

After years and years of campaigning, cock-fighting advocates, calling themselves Pro-Cock, have finally persuaded Congress to allow the sport to be practiced without fear of legal prosecution. "It was a long, hard battle, but in the end, we were about to come through and penetrate the traditional arguments," said one advocate. "I only hope we can continue to rise to the occasion and use our cocks cleanly and efficiently."

Cocks are now allowed to fight each other. Will pussies be next?

As a result of the law, many people are coming out about their secret cock-fighting hobbies. All over the country, people are taking their cocks out from where they've been hidden all these years and letting them free. Makeshift cock-fights are being held not only in the traditional dark alleys and basements, but now even in such public places as bathrooms, bedrooms, and bars. "It's fun for the whole family!" proclaimed one cock-fan. A celebrity cock-fight is scheduled to be held in San Francisco, featuring such stars as 80's icons Boy George and George Michaels, and surprisingly, talk-show host Rosie O'Donnell. "I know cock-fighting is normally a man's sport, but I think people will be surprised by the size and strength of my cock," said the former comedian. Tentatively scheduled to judge are celebrities Pamela Anderson and Carmen Electra, long reputed to be cock experts.

Even Renegade Monkey Nun's own Norm is getting into the act. "I know my cock may be a little on the small side, and doesn't really have that much experience, but I'm hoping I can come from behind and squeeze out a win. It's not about the size, you know."

Cock advocates are happy about the victory, which they call "a step in the right direction." They are moving on to their next goal, which is attempting to bring beaver-eating into the mainstream.

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