Oscar
Time!
By Norm
- Staff Writer : 03.20.02
It's
that time of year again
It's
middle March and that means it's time to break out the
red carpet, the champagne and the weed...oops, forget
that last one...for the annual Academy Awards. Let's
go through the nominees in the top 6 categories and
figure out who will be taking home those funny looking
statues. I mean really, who the hell wears a gold body
suit?
 Best
Director
Ron
Howard, A Beautiful Mind
Ridley
Scott, Black Hawk Down
Robert
Altman, Gosford Park
Peter
Jackson, The Lord of the Rings
David
Lynch, Mulholland Drive
Favorite:
Ron Howard
Dark
Horse: Ridley Scott
Norm's
Fearless Prediction: Peter Jackson is going to
take this one. In my opinion, The Lord of the Rings
was drivel, but the directing was great. Ron Howard
has been loved by the critics for his work in A
Beautiful Mind, but it doesn't compete with the
technological superiority in The Lord of the Rings.
Mulholland Drive wasn't popular enough to
elevate David Lynch into the winners' circle. Ridley
Scott did a fine job in Black Hawk Down, but
the movie wasn't even nominated for Best Picture,
lessening Scott's chances. Now let's just hope that
Jackson decides to thank his hobbit friends.
 Best
Supporting Actress
Jennifer
Connelly, A Beautiful Mind
Hellen
Mirren, Gosford Park
Maggie
Smith, Gosford Park
Marisa
Tomei, In the Bedroom
Kate
Winslet, Iris
Favorite:
Jennifer Connelly
Dark
Horse: Kate Winslet
Norm's
Fearless Prediction: I've never heard of Jennifer
Connelly before, but she'll be the one holding the
Oscar come Sunday. She played the wife of Russell
Crowe's character in A Beautiful Mind and
played it extremely well. Mirren and Smith have no
chance of winning since they're both from the same
movie. If you think Tomei is going to win another
Oscar, then you must be one of the ones who thinks
that the monkey from Planet of the Apes won a
Golden Globe. Kate Winslet is playing the younger
character of Judi Dench's character. So if Dench
loses, she'll lose. Oooh, I guess I gave one away.
 Best
Supporting Actor
Jim
Broadbent, Iris
Ethan
Hawke, Training Day
Ben
Kingsley, Sexy Beast
Ian
McKellen, The Lord of the Rings
John
Voight, Ali
Favorite:
Ian McKellen
Dark
Horse: Ethan Hawke
Norm's
Fearless Prediction: Ben Kingsley will win. He
played a gangster in Sexy Beast and played it
well. Does everyone remember him from Schindler's
List? His character in Sexy Beast is nowhere
that, which makes his performance even better. Ian
McKellen's performance made The Lord of the Rings
a little less unbearable, but he still won't win.
Broadbent's performance is overshadowed too much by
Dench's performance. If she wins, he'll probably win,
but she probably won't. Damn I gave it away again.
Ethan Hawke wasn't that good in Training Day.
The spotlight was stolen by Denzel Washington in that
movie. John Voight was barely in Ali. I don't know
what the rules say, but you should have to be in a
movie for more than 15 minutes to be nominated.
 Best
Actress
Halle
Berry, Monster's Ball
Judi
Dench, Iris
Nicole
Kidman, Moulin Rouge
Sissy
Spacek, In the Bedroom
Renee
Zellweger, Bridget Jones' Diary
Favorite:
Sissy Spacek
Dark
Horse: Nicole Kidman
Norm's
Fearless Prediction: Sissy Spacek will win. She
plays the mother in In the Bedroom and does a
lot of crying. You'd be surprise how much crying
influences the voters. If I starred in a movie and
just cried the whole time, I'd probably win every damn
award in the country. Halle Berry did well in Monster's
Ball, but did anyone even see that movie? Kidman
and Zellweger have slim chances because Kidman's movie
is a musical and Zellweger's is a comedy. I've spoken
enough about Judi Dench already. And yes, she loses.
 Best
Actor
Russell
Crowe, A Beautiful Mind
Sean
Penn, I Am Sam
Will
Smith, Ali
Denzel
Washington, Training Day
Tom
Wilkinson, In the Bedroom
Favorite:
Denzel Washington
Dark
Horse: Sean Penn
Norm's
Fearless Prediction: Russell Crowe will take it
home for the second straight year. Penn played a
character that people could feel sorry for, but that
doesn't mean he's going to win. Besides, if he did
win, he'd probably just shove the camera out of his
face and walk out. Wilkinson isn't a big enough name
to compete with the other big names. Will Smith did a
good job portraying Ali, but the movie was a flop.
Denzel Washington is Crowe's main competition, but
Crowe's acting is just too good. He may be the best
actor in the game right now. Don't be surprised though
if Crowe gets upset when his acceptance speech is cut
short by the new Britney Spears commercial.
 Best
Picture
A
Beautiful Mind
Gosford
Park
In
the Bedroom
The
Lord of the Rings
Moulin
Rouge
Favorite:
A Beautiful Mind
Dark
Horse: Moulin Rouge
Norm's
Fearless Prediction: A Beautiful Mind is
the clear cut choice. It was an excellent look at a
schizophrenic man who is a genius. The Lord of the
Rings has just a good a chance to win, but it
wasn't as good as it was built up to be. Moulin
Rouge is getting a lot of publicity and it has a
shot to win, but it is a musical, which will decrease
its chances. Gosford Park and In the Bedroom
are pip squeaks compared to the other three. Those two
films were more about the actors and actresses than
the films themselves.
Other
Things
To Look For
1.
Someone you'd least expect to win will win. Please
don't let it be Judi Dench!
2.
Whoopi Goldberg will find a way to make an ass of
herself. Then again, she's already got a big one.
3.
A drunk Tom Green will crash the party wondering why
he wasn't nominated for Best Actor for his film
Freddie Got Fingered.
4.
Jon Voight won't even make it in because when he is
stopped by security for carrying a knife, he will bite
the guard.
5.
Roberto Benigni will not be showing up. Thank God.
6. Oh yes, God will
be thanked a million times.
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