Rough Cuts of Our Favorite Movie Scenes
By Randal
Graves - Staff Writer : 04.23.02
They're
the scenes that make a movie memorable. They're the
scenes we remember years from now. They're the scenes
we occasionally beat off to. Uh, scratch that. Anyway,
these famous scenes that stick out in our minds
weren't always written the way that eventually made it
to the screen. Renegade Monkey Nuns has uncovered the
original scripts from some of our favorite movies, and
now present to you... rough cuts from our favorite
movie scenes!
The
Empire Strikes Back
The
second movie of the Star Wars trilogy was darker than
the first, and contained one of the most shocking
scenes of the day: the evil Darth Vader reveals
himself to be the father of the hero Luke Skywalker,
who then escapes the Death Star. But originally,
George Lucas had a more perverted idea in mind.
DARTH
VADER: Luke, I am your father.
LUKE:
No! It can't be!
DARTH
VADER: But it is. (70's disco music begins
playing)
(Cut
to a scene of a bedroom. Darth Vader is standing
behind Luke on the bed, pumping away)
DARTH
VADER: (moans) Who's yo' daddy, Luke? Who's
yo' daddy?
LUKE:
Dammit, this would be much easier if you hadn't cut
off my hand!
DARTH
VADER: Oh, don't worry. Your severed hand is doing
a lot of work around back, if you know what I mean.
Soylent
Green
This
famous science fiction movie ended with a worn
Charlton Heston uttering the now famous phrase "Soylent
Green is made of people." But that was after the
advertising deal fell through.
HESTON:
Soylent Green is made of people! People!
BYSTANDER:
But people contain all the vitamins and minerals you
need for a healthy meal. And besides that, people
taste great. Soylent Green now comes in three flavors:
skin, genital, and strawberry.
HESTON:
But where can I purchase this fine product?
BYSTANDER:
It's available at your local grocery store.
HESTON:
Thanks!
(both
Bystander and Heston give a thumbs up and smile.
Freeze Frame)
NARRATOR:
(voiceover) Soylent Green: from the makers of
Spam.
It's
A Wonderful Life
This
holiday classic features the angel Clarence telling
George Bailey about his quest to get wings and become
a real angel. But originally, the idea was more of a
downer.
CLARENCE:
When an angel does a good deed, he gets his wings.
GEORGE:
Really?
CLARENCE:
Nah. I'm just pulling your chain. Sucker! (steals
George's wallet and runs away)
Willy
Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
A
personal childhood favorite features Charlie, the poor
ghetto kid, finally getting something good in his life
by receiving Wonka's chocolate factory. But it wasn't
always that way...
WONKA:
You're a very special boy, Charlie. That's why I want
you to be my love slave (rubs cane and grins evil-y).
CHARLIE:
(afraid) But what about the chocolate factory?
WONKA: Oh, you'll be eating
something all right. It just won't be chocolate...
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