Get Fired From Your Job
By Randal
Graves - Staff Writer : 03.12.02
Many
people hate their jobs. If you've ever seen
"Office Space" or "Clerks" (and,
goddammit, you should have), you'd know the trials
people go through everyday. After a while, people may
begin to stop caring. As someone who works (and I use
the term "works" loosely) on a regular
basis, I've had plenty of time to stop caring, and
thus I came up with some funny ways to get fired. Try
them out, but just remember, if you get arrested,
don't blame me. Blame Norm,
the Professional Scapegoat.
1.
Bring a megaphone to your job. Proceed to talk about
topics ranging from what bodily substances you put
into the water cooler to how good your boss's daughter
was in bed last night.
2.
Post nude pictures of yourself randomly around your
workplace, including your bosses desk. (Warning: If
you are a hot chick, this may get you promoted
instead.)
3.
If you work in a supermarket, stick your hand into the
shelves, and proceed to run down the aisles as fast as
you can, knocking down as many items as you can. Grab
a friend and see who can break the most pickle jars.
4.
Also for you supermarket types: use the shopping carts
to have a drag race around the store.
5.
Use the company phone line to make prank phone calls.
6.
Find the nerdiest co-worker at the job. Force him to
put his face on the Xerox machine, and make
approximately 1,305,959,683,201 copies. That's called
"killing two birds with one stone", kiddies.
7.
If you have an intercom and have the ability to mimic
other people's voices, pick it up at random times
during the day and proclaim "Kill Whitey!"
in various voices. My personal favorite to use is the
Michael Jackson voice.
8.
Finally, repeatedly mumble under your breath, but loud
enough for people to hear, "....burn this place
to the ground....."
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