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Promises 3 to 4 Inch Penis Growth
By
Disco
Stu : 03.09.02
It's
not like you need it, right? Well, might as well open
it. Not that you need it...
Def
Jam Houses of Congress Edition Released
By
Disco
Stu : 08.13.01
The
video is full of snappy comebacks to your stupid as hell
Patient's Bill of Rights plan. Fool.
Actor
Brags About Part in Days of Our Lives
By
Disco
Stu : 08.07.01
His
friends are starting to get irritated.
Gorilla
to Sign Language Instructor: "I'd Rather be Looking at
Snatch and Doing Blow."
By
Disco
Stu : 08.03.01
That
gorilla is smart.
Local
Man Hires Hot Secretary
By Disco
Stu : 08.01.01
Man
likes her typing skills, organization, and "sweet, sweet
rack."
SLUT
Convention Takes Place
By
Norm
: 08.01.01
Finally!
Leather, pimps, and mentoring never melded together so
brilliantly.
President
Bush Courting Hispanic Vote
By
Disco
Stu : 07.31.01
The
Hispanic vote, however, just "wants to be friends."
Pillow
Talk
By
Norm
: 07.26.01
Stan
Javier, Seattle Mariners outfielder makes a stunning admission:
he has Hotel Pillow Syndrome, or HPS.
Cartoon
Bird Alleges "Puddy Tat" Sighting
By
Disco
Stu : 07.25.01
Tweety,
a cartoon canary, has reported that he has seen a "puddy
tat" and that it fears for its life
Crack
Decides to Keep Ruining Lives
By
Disco
Stu : 07.23.01
In
an announcement that caught some by surprise, the highly
addictive drug, Crack, has decided to to keep ruining lives
for another year.
Census:
More Mexicans in United States
By
Disco
Stu : 07.23.01
The
Mexican population in the U.S jumped dramatically since the
last census. In related news, the illegal immigrant
population has also increased.
Prime
Time Skater?
By
Norm
: 07.23.01
Football,
baseball, and now, figure skating? Deion Sanders vows to go
for the gold early next year.
Computers
Cause Impotence
By Disco
Stu : Issue 6, Vol. II
Seriously.
Santa Claus Gives
Up
By Disco
Stu : Issue 5, Vol. II
The jolly, fat
guy in the red suit has called it quits just in
time for Christmas. He cites "too many friggin' Christian kids" as a source for his
retirement.
Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles to Reunite
By Sideshow
Rob : Issue 4, Vol. II
Those four martial arts experts (who also happened to be mutated
turtles), Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo
reunite. Finally, we can die happy.
Toaster Goes on
Strike
By Disco
Stu : Issue 3, Vol. I
Family hires scab toaster.
Microsoft to Merge
With Three Weekdays
By Disco
Stu : Issue 2, Vol. I
The Government fears a weekday monopoly.
Molybdenum Quits
the Periodic Table of Elements
By Disco
Stu : Issue 1, Vol. I
The metal stuns the science world.
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