Def
Jam Houses of Congress Edition Released
By Disco
Stu - Editor in Chief : 08.13.01
 WASHINGTON,
D.C.--Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle and Def Jam
founder Russell Simmons announced today the release of
"the illest Def Jam comedy video
ever." According to a press conference last
Friday, Simmons plans to distribute Def Jam Houses
of Congress Edition under the Def Comedy Jam line
of products.
"This
video will hopefully show the American people how
their government works," said Daschle.
"Not only will this be good for the Houses of
Congress, I feel that it will be beneficial for the
economy."
The
video will feature republicans and democrats debating
current legislative issues such as the Patient's Bill
of Rights, campaign finance reform, and immigration
plans.
During
the press conference, Simmons showed a small sampling
of the video. The sample video featured numerous
debates, involving many prominent politicians.
"Yo'
campaign finance reform is so stupid," said John
McCain (R-AZ) in the video. "It thought that
Grape Nuts was an STD. Man, it's stupid.
So stupid that it thinks fruit punch is a gay
boxer."
To
which Chuck Schumer (D-NY) responded: "Well, yo'
bill is so nasty, a skunk smelled it's ass and passed
out. Bitch."
When
debating new plans for Social Security, House Speaker
Dennis Hastert (R-IL) said, "Yo social security
plan is so stupid, it got fired from a blow job."
Senior
Senator Strom Thurmond (R-SC) agreed, saying:
"It's so stupid, if it spoke it's mind it would
be speechless."
Maxine
Waters (D-CA), then, takes several jabs at Thurmond's
age by replying "[Strom Thurmond's] so old, when
he was young, the Dead Sea was just getting
sick. He's so old, his birth certificate
expired. He's so old, he knew Mr. Clean when he
had an afro. He's so old, he called the cops
when David and Goliath had a fight."
Simmons
plans to release the Houses of Congress Edition
video in early September.
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