Renegade Monkey Nuns - Gorilla To Sign Language Instructor: "I'd Rather be Looking at Snatch and Doing Blow"

SAN DIEGO, CA--After completely learning the sign language alphabet with a help of an instructor, Joey, a male gorilla at the San Diego Zoo, revealed that he'd rather be "looking at snatch and doing blow."

"Man, this is so boring," signed Joey. "Why can't they hook me up with some female tang? Or at least give me some crack or something."

Joey's instructor, Natalie Reed, was completely taken aback by the gorilla's wishes and quit immediately. "Sure, we could give him all the snatch or blow he wants, but then he'd be spoiled. This is a lot like an infant learning to speak. It will ask and ask, but you can't give it everything it wants," said Reed.

The other gorillas in Joey's group are already calling him the "cool one" and have upgraded him to the leader.

"He's like the James Dean of gorillas," says one female gorilla.

The San Diego Zoo now plans to tour the country with Joey and endorse the benefits of snatch and blow.

"I don't know exactly what 'snatch' and 'blow' are," says San Diego Zoo director Steven Frakes. "But, if it's anything like Joey describes it is, count the San Diego Zoo in!"

"I just hope I get my gorilla hookers and fun powder soon," says Joey. "But, I guess I'll settle for gorilla porn and leaves for now."

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