Marilyn
Manson as Willy Wonka
By Disco Stu - Editor in
Chief : Issue 6, Vol. II
What the Hell,
Indeed
 Well,
stop the presses, folks: Hell-Rocker Marilyn Manson wants to play
Willy Wonka in the remake of the 1971 classic children's film,
"Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory."
Manson makes it clear that he
definitely won't play Wonka as the sweet and gentle candy czar,
the way Gene Wilder did in the original. "I really see
the movie as a metaphor," says Manson, according to London's Sun.
"I see Willy Wonka as Satan because he presents people with
the temptation of picking good and evil, and they all pick
evil." Except for that Charlie kid, of course. He
goes on to say that "Willy Wonka is one of my favorite
movies, and I think I can play that role like no one else."
The movie is based on the famous
Roald Dahl story "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"
about 5 kids who win a chocolate-factory tour and are booted out
one by one for breaking the rules. The factory, run by
creepy orange midgets called "Oompa Loompas," contains a
river of chocolate, trees that grow candy, and giant chickens that
lay candy eggs. Similarly, Manson's home has a river of
blood, trees that grow hair, and giant chickens that lay human
heads. Tim Burton has been named as a possible directorial
candidate, and could probably bridge the gap between the innocence
of the original to Manson's hellish, I <3 Satan attitude.
Despite the similarities, however,
there are way too many differences between Wonka and Manson to
cast him in the film. Just check it out:
| WONKA |
NAME |
MANSON |
| Gene Wilder, AKA
Jerry Silberman |
Real
Name |
Brian
Warner |
| Candy
Maker |
Profession |
Shock-Rocker,
tool of Satan |
| Becoming most
popular candy maker in the world, successfully turning over
company to competent child |
Career
Highlights |
"Anti-Christ
Superstar," "Holywood," "Smells Like
Children," convincing the world he didn't exist |
| Accused
of sexual harassment by Oompa Loompa; charges later dropped |
Career
Lowlights |
Ripping
up "Book of Mormon" in Salt Lake City; mooning
fans on MTV Music Awards |
| "Come with
me, and you'll be in a world of pure imagination,"
"Veruca Salt is a little bitch" (said under
breath) |
Famous
Line |
"White
trash get down on your knees, time for cake and sodomy" |
| Given
the title 'Sexiest Candy Maker Named Willy' by People
Magazine in 1969 |
Biggest
Honor |
Given
the title of reverend by Dr. Anton Szandor LaVey, founder of
Church of Satan |
| Candy-eating
suburban kids, Christians, Oompa Loompas |
Fan
Base |
Bored
suburban kids, Satanists, Oompa Loompas |
A World of Pure Imagination
and of Skeletons of 7-Year Old Chinese Boys
The choice of Manson is sure
to drive many parents crazy--the pale white rocker is notorious
for his twisted stage act which uses chain saws, fake blood, fire
and is said to give the devil nightmares.
In real-life, Manson does not own a
candy store, but does have the ancient skeleton of a 7 year old
Chinese boy and reportedly keeps a torture rack in his dressing
room.
His X-rated songs, which have been
repeatedly banned from television and radio stations, include
"Cake and Sodomy, " Anti-Christ Superstar,"
"Wormboy," and "Dried Up, Tied and Dead to the
World." The cover of his latest release "Holy
Wood" has been banned by stores because it features Manson in
the crucifix pose, with his lower jaw missing.
But the controversial entertainer
says those who condemn his act should give him a chance as Wonka. "The film will still have a beautiful
message--our hero Charlie does a good, honest deed," Manson
insists. Yeah, thanks for clearing that up.
|
