Monkeys
With Typewriters »
Wesley
Willis: American Hero
By Disco Stu - Editor in
Chief : 08.03.01
 Rock Over
London, Rock On Chicago
Wesley
Willis is a big lug. This 300 pound 6 footer is
afflicted with a slight case of paranoid
schizophrenia. This affliction allows Wesley to
hear magical voices in his head like: "Cut the
mullet," "kill that jerk," or "I
deserve a war hell ride."
Even
though his schizophrenia often takes him off his
"harmony joy rides," as he likes to call
them, and takes him to creepy "torture hell
rides," Wesley still manages to write good
songs. Just check out some classics that he has
written and performed with his band "The Wesley
Willis Fiasco:"
 "Casper
the Homosexual Friendly Ghost"
"Eat
That Mule Shit"
"Ford
Windstar"
"I
Deserve a War Hell Ride"
"I
Killed Your Daddy After Midnight"
"I
Killed Your Daddy Yesterday"
"I'm
Sorry That I Got Fat (I Will Slim Down)"
"Kiss
My Black Ass"
"My
Daddy Got Me High"
"My
Mother Smokes Crack Rocks"
"Spank
Wagon"
"Suck
a Cheetah's Dick"
What
an amazing song writer that Wesley Willis is. He
is truly a lyrical messiah.
Songs
Admittedly,
some of Wesley's songs can be hard to figure
out. But, you can rest assured that they are
truly examples of clever, insightful, and thought
provoking musical poetry.
I'll
analyze some for you now.
"Cut
the Mullet"
Do
something about your long, filthy hair
It looks like a rat's nest
Do something about your mullet
Get out the hair clippers, jerk
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Get the rat's nest off your head
Get that crazy-ass mother off your skull
Take your ass to the barber shop
Tell the barber that you're sick of looking like an
asshole
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
The mullet is the reason why people hate you
They are sick of looking at your nappy weed-sack
Nobody wants to look at you with that mullet on your
head
Why don't you cut that mullet, you numbskull
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Analysis:
Clearly one
of Willis' best songs, "Cut the Mullet" is a
strong refutation of modern, yet out of date
trends. Willis directs his angst towards the
"mullet" in particular, voicing his disgust
with the hairstyle from the very first line. The
strength of his dislike when his command is repeated
throughout the song: cut the mullet.
Indeed,
however, Willis not only dislikes the mullet, but the
person wearing it as well. The words used to
describe the person with the mullet ("jerk,"
"numbskull," "people hate you")
are as cutting and insulting as the words used to
describe the mullet itself ("rat's nest,"
"nappy weed-sack").
"Dave
Grohl"
You
are a rock star
You are a rocking maniac
You can really sing your horse-whupping ass off
You can really whip a polar bear's ass
Dave Grohl
Dave Grohl
Dave Grohl
Dave Grohl
You are my buddy to the max
You are my friend to the end
You are a nice friend
I like you fairly well
Dave Grohl
Dave Grohl
Dave Grohl
Dave Grohl
You are so handsome like
You
are a good friend
You are on my side
You are on my side with the midas touch
Dave Grohl
Dave Grohl
Dave Grohl
Dave Grohl
Analysis:
Willis has a great affinity towards former Nirvana
drummer and current Foo Fighter's front man, Dave
Grohl. In his personal life, Willis like those
who are aggressive and take pleasure in "whupping"
asses. When he describes Grohl as able to
"whip a polar bear's ass," it is more of a
complement than anything else.
Willis
even describes Grohl as "my buddy to the
max," "handsome," and "on my
side." Some would interpret this as clear
signs of homosexual tendencies on Willis' part, but,
indeed, that view is misleading.
"Suck
a Cheetah's Dick"
Suck
a polar bear's funky ass!
Suck a racehorse's cock with Heinz Tomato Ketchup!
Suck a donkey's shitty ass!
Suck a male camel's dick with Hoisen sauce!
Suck a cheetah's dick
Suck a cheetah's dick
Suck a cheetah's dick
Suck a cheetah's dick
Suck a European bison's smelly ass!
Suck a woolly mammoth's dick with Miracle Whip!
Suck a snow leopard's ass with whip cream!
Suck a hyena's spermy dick!
Suck a cheetah's dick
Suck a cheetah's dick
Suck a cheetah's dick
Suck a cheetah's dick
Suck a llama's shitty asshole!
Suck a panda bear's spermy nutsack!
Suck a sloth bear's bootyhole!
Suck a greyhound's musty ass, mothafucka!
Suck a cheetah's dick
Suck a cheetah's dick
Suck a cheetah's dick
Suck a cheetah's dick
Analysis:
Uh, he wants you to suck every vile thing you
encounter. That's it.
Rock
over London, Rock on Chicago!!!
|
