The
Millennium
By Disco Stu - Editor in
Chief : Issue 5, Vol. II
 A
lot of stuff happened in the second millennium.
That's the valley-girl in me speaking, but there
are too many events to name here. Certainly,
Johannes Guttenberg, Isaac Newton, and Hugh
Hefner have all contributed important things
through the years, but they were all products of
the Millennium. Renegade Monkey Nuns sat down
with the all-powerful Millennium to find out what
time has in store for us for the next thousand
years.
Renegade
Monkey Nuns: Well, it's been a good hundred years
hasn't it?
The Millennium: You're an
idiot. It's been a thousand years, jackass. The
first thing I'm gonna do is to get rid of stupid,
dumb asses like you. Ass...
RMN: There's
no need to be so harsh, Mill. Can I call you
"Mill?"
M: No.
RMN: So,
Mill...Uh, I mean, Millennium, what can we expect
for the next year?
M: Finally, a question that
doesn't make me want to kill your dumb ass. For
starters, 2001 should be a tough year for midgets.
They're gonna have to stand tall, pardon the pun,
due to the midget internment camps every
industrialized country will institute.
RMN: Wow.
Midgets seem pretty harmless. How does it all
start?
M: Well, dwarf porn
directors will try to make a history of midget
porn in order to get the word out about the necessity of midgets. Needless to say, it's a
pretty short history, and people will be
none too pleased. The US government porn bureau
will find out about it and deem midgets useless--which
is essentially true--and ship them off to
internment camps. It'll become instituted by all
countries within the next 5 years.
RMN: Ah.
Now let's talk about something big.
Will Jesus Christ make an appearance this
millennium?
M: Yeah, but he's the last
person you'd expect to be the J man. People will
see him as a tool of the devil and people like
Marilyn Manson will be scared of him. Jesus will
take the form of three musicians. Yes, that's
right: Jesus is Hanson.
RMN: I
think I'll convert. What about the prophesized
Third Anti-Christ
M: Oh, he's already here.
Ever heard of George W. Bush?
RMN: The
president?
M: Yeah, and I better go
before he comes in here and tries to execute me.
RMN: At
least the midget's will be gone..
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