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Grand Theft Equipment
By Norm - Staff Writer : 03.15.02

After it was discovered that Yankees outfielder Ruben Rivera had stolen Derek Jeter's glove, the Yankees promptly released the 28-year old. Today, more Yankees have stepped up and reported that some of their belongings are missing.

Giambi

Jason Giambi's electric shaver is missing. Giambi fears growing his beard again because of the Yankees' policy against it. The prime suspect is Nick Johnson because the youngster is jealous that Giambi is going to play first base.

Williams 

Bernie Williams' guitar is missing. The outfielder loves to play his guitar and even is in a band. But Williams no longer is happy because he's missing it. The prime suspect is Rondell White. The man has nothing better to do because he's always injured.

Henson

Drew Henson's talent is missing. The infielder, who makes Major League money despite never playing a game there, made three errors in a game last week showing scouts that maybe he isn't worth the $17 million. Henson has been questioning people all week trying to find his talent again. There is no prime suspect because people are starting to wonder if he ever had talent at all.

Clemens 

Roger Clemens' Book of Stupid Excuses is missing. The future Hall of Fame pitcher is famous for using that book during the 2000 World Series when he said that he thought that the splintered bat, which Mike Piazza shattered right to him, was actually the ball. The prime suspect is Luis Sojo because he's still looking for a reason to even still be playing.

In response to all the thefts, the Yankees have decided to make all players leave all equipment in the clubhouse and then go through an X-Ray machine before leaving the ballpark to see if anyone is trying to steal something.

Ten to One

Other Movies to See This Summer

By Disco Stu : 04.26.02

Though these movies don't quite make out most anticipated movies list, they still warrant some attention. Check these out, because some of these movies could be sleeper hits.

Entertainment

Best. Movie. Ever.

By Disco Stu : 04.26.02

Here's an article complimenting our worst movie list. These are our favorite movies of all time.

Entertainment

The Best DVDs Ever

By Disco Stu : 04.24.02

DVDs offer almost everything normal VHS tapes can't: superior picture and sound quality, fun extra features, and options to view deleted scenes. Disco Stu does some research and lists the 5 DVDs that are head and shoulders above the rest.

Entertainment

Rough Cuts of Our Favorite Films

By Randal Graves : 04.23.02

They're the scenes that make a movie memorable. They're the scenes we remember years from now. They're the scenes we occasionally beat off to. Uh, scratch that. Anyway, these famous scenes that stick out in our minds weren't always written the way that eventually made it to the screen. Renegade Monkey Nuns has uncovered the original scripts.

Ten to One

The 10 Most Anticipated Movies of the Summer

By Disco Stu : 04.22.02

As part of Summer Movie Week, Disco Stu does some research and previews the 10 most highly anticipated movies of the summer. These are the films that many movie fans cannot wait to see. Will these movies be blockbusters or duds? Find out here.

Entertainment

Worst. Movie. Ever.

By Renegade Monkey Nuns Staff : 04.22.02

Our staff has seen a lot of great movies and a lot of bad movies in our time. Find out which movies are at the top (or the bottom?) of our lists.

Entertainment

Oscar Time!

By Norm : 03.20.02

It's middle March and that means it's time to break out the red carpet, the champagne and the weed...oops, forget that last one...for the annual Academy Awards. Let's go through the nominees in the top 6 categories and figure out who will be taking home those funny looking statues.

Also check the Renegade Monkey Nuns article archive or the issue archive.

How To

Survive a Chat Room

By Disco Stu : 07.31.01

People who regularly go to chat rooms are not normal. But, if you were suddenly forced to go to internet chat rooms (if the government made it mandatory or something), you need to recognize the people who usually go into those things.

Off the Cuff

Mr. T Speaks!

By Disco Stu : 07.23.01

The Man, the Myth, the Legend sits down with Disco Stu to talk about everything from the A-Team, to his stint in the WWF, and even his short career as a rap star.  With sound clips!