Canadian
Celebrities
By Disco
Stu - Editor in Chief : Issue 3, Vol. I
Canada
has often been the butt of jokes here in the
United States. The northbound nation has often
been seen as a "Wannabe America," or
the "Poor Man's United States." With it's
cold climate, inferior sport franchises, and
Celine Dion, it's no wonder why Canada gets made
fun off. Canada, however, has lots of things
going for it, namely a whole lot of celebrities.
People like Mike Meyers, Peter Jennings, and
James Naismith (the inventor of Basketball) all
hail from the land of Canada. So, in no
particular order, I give you Bootleg America's
finest imports.
 Alex Trebeck
Birthplace: Sudbury, Ontario
Claim to Fame: Host of Jeopardy
and numerous other game shows, playing "Himself"
in dozens of movies and Films
Canadian, eh?: Alex Trebeck is
probably the most hated man in showbiz, followed
closely by William Shatner (who just happens to
be Canadian as well). Trebeck is cocky, arrogant,
selfish...he think he knows it all because he has
those cards in front of him. He's called Who
Wants to be a Millionaire "stupid"
and praised his own show as being the superior
game show in America. He's also been parodied by
the hilarious Will Ferrell on Saturday Night Live
as a near-suicidal game show host during
Celebrity Jeopardies. I can't help but put this
bad-ass Canadian on the list.
 Wayne Gretzky
Birthplace: Brantford, Ontario
Claim to Fame: Winning just
about every accolade the sport of Hockey has to
offer, holding 61 hockey records
Canadian, eh?: You can't write
an article about Canada without mention hockey.
And, you can't mention hockey without talking
about Wayne Gretzky. I'm not a hockey fun at all,
but you can't help but respect Wayne. He's won
the trophy for Sportsmanship in Hockey a record
number of times, he's extremely humble, and he
doesn't have any real teeth. They're all fake.
Regarded by most people as the greatest hockey
player to ever play the game, I just had to put
him on the list. All the rabid hockey fans would
kill me if I didn't.
 Jim
Carrey
Birthplace: New Mart, Ontario
Claim to Fame: Being the only
white guy in In Living Color, starring
in tons of blockbuster films
Canadian, eh?: The Jim Carrey
story is like a modern-day Cinderella tale, but
without the mice, pumpkins, or Fairy Godmother.
He started out as a struggling comic, but
eventually landed a spot in Keenan Ivory Wayans'
show In Living Color. He gained
notoriety there, though quietly. He eventually
made a big splash in 1994 in the film The
Mask with the lovely Cameron Diaz. But, the
Ace Ventura movies are what placed him on
Hollywood's A List. Who knew that talking out of
your ass could make you famous? Each movie he has
released has made him more famous than before.
 Phil Hartman
Birthplace: Brantford, Ontario
Claim to Fame: A cast member at Saturday
Night Live, being in other movies and
television shows like News Radio and The
Simpsons
Canadian, eh?: Why is this guy
on the list? Well, being on Saturday Night
Live would have put him under consideration.
But he was in SNL AND The Simpsons.
And he was great in both of those shows, so Phil
Hartman is on the list. His career ended in a sad
note, however. Matt Groening offered him voicing
roles on the show Futurama, one of them
being the character Zap Branigan. Unfortunately,
his wife allegedly killed him (and herself)under
the influence of drugs and alcohol. Groening made
a tribute to Phil by naming one of his characters
in Futurama after the funny man - Philip
J. Fry.
 Pamela Anderson Lee
Birthplace: British Columbia
Claim to Fame: Being in Playboy
and starring in Baywatch and V.I.P
Canadian, eh?: Well, I won't say
much about Pamela. I mean, everything is pretty
much self explanatory. She's appeared in Playboy,
donned the red bathing suit for Baywatch,
and appeared in a couple of amateur sex tapes.
But, really, there are only two reasons to love
Pamela. I'll let you figure that out on your own.
These are just a
few of the many Canadian Celebrities in show
business today. So don't rag on Canada because
they can't produce celebrities. Rag on them
because they can't make anything original.
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