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Monday, April 29, 2002
DAY
SIX - Clean Up Time
Boy,
Summer Movie Week was fun. We'll be having similar
stuff in the future. Stay tuned. Or something...
Here
were the staff's most anticipated lists:
Randal
Graves' Top 5 2002 Summer Movies
5.
Master of Disguise
4.
Austin Powers in Goldmember
3.
The New Guy
2.
Spider-Man
1.
Jason X (technically not the summer, but what the
hell?)
Norm's
Top 5 2002 Summer Movies
5.
Insomnia
4. Spider-Man
3. Austin Powers in Goldmember
2. Minority Report
1. Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
Sideshow
Rob's Top 5 2002 Summer Movies
5.
8 Mile
4. Austin Powers in Goldmember
3. Minority Report
2. Men in Black 2
1. Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
Disco
Stu's Top 5 2002 Summer Movies
5.
Mr. Deeds
4. Austin Powers in Goldmember
3. Minority Report
2. Spider-Man
1. Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
And
here were the articles:
The
10 Most Anticipated Movies of the Summer - by Disco
Stu
Worst.
Movie. Ever. - by the Renegade
Monkey Nuns Staff
Jesus
Thanks Rappers, Other Jews in Honorary Oscar Award
Speech - by Disco
Stu
Rough
Cuts of Our Favorite Movies - by Randal
Graves
The
Best DVDs Ever Made - by Disco
Stu
Other
Movies to See This Summer - by Disco
Stu
Best.
Movie. Ever. - by Renegade
Monkey Nuns Staff
Go
a re-read these great movie articles. They're
handpicked for freshness!
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Wednesday, April 3, 2002
Prepare!
For the ice age!
All
work on current articles has stopped in order to gear
up for our massive week devoted to the movies. Get
ready for that in the coming weeks.
Anyways,
my Easter break has been pretty uneventful. I've
watched some television, re-watched all the Star Wars
movies, did some homework, got a haircut on Tuesday,
and started reading J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in
the Rye. For fun (yeah, I told myself to read more
books and watch more movies). I'm only seventy-six
pages into it, but I gotta say it's a very good book.
It's depressing though; Holden Caufield seems like a
really lonely character.
So,
see you when we update for the movie week!
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Monday, March 25, 2002
Yes,
I know this update is late. So, what are you going to
do about it? I'm waiting...
 Wait
a minute... Whoopi Goldberg isn't a Jewish
name?
Well,
the Oscars
were last night and, apparently, it was a landmark
year for black actors. Denzel Washington won Best
Actor for his performance in Training Day, Halle Berry
won for Monster’s Ball, and Sidney Poitier was
honored for career achievement. Whoopi Goldberg also
hosted again this year. Washington’s and Berry’s
wins were not surprises considering that the Oscars
had been heavily criticized for excluding “actors of
color” (I hate that term) in the nominations. Now
that the criticism seems to have died down this year,
expect the Academy to revert back to its old form and
allow crackers to dominate again next year.
You may also remember
that Norm
put up his predictions of the winners several days
ago. Well, he went 2 for 6: so, we’ll give him an A
for effort and an F for psychic ability. But,
there’s always next year. Go here
to read his Oscar article.
And
now for something completely different
For volunteer work, I
am a teacher's assistant at
a pre-school. Little children ranging from the ages 3
to 5 go there to interact with other kids and,
normally, the work is very enjoyable. At times,
however, they are just plain annoying. Small kids can
be surprisingly territorial and snobbish too; they
don't like other kids taking "their sand"
and age seems to be the discriminating factor with
them. Furthermore, they either won't follow what you're
saying, won't eat, or won't stay still. Other times,
the simply will not shut up. Here's an actual
"conversation" I had with a little girl as
she was playing at the sandbox. Oh yeah, the girl is 3
years old, adopted, and Asian:
Little
Girl: Are you going to services today?
Me:
Services?
Little
Girl: Yeah. Are you going to services today?
Me:
Um... no.
Little
Girl: I'm going to services today.
Me:
Ah. That's nice.
[Pause]
Little
Girl: Are you Jewish?
Me:
No, I'm not.
Little
Girl: My family is Jewish.
Me:
They are? That's nice.
Little
Girl: We celebrate Hanukah.
Me:
Okay.
Little
Girl: We celebrate Hanukah, not Christmas. And
Passover.
Me:
Yes, I know.
[Pause]
Little
Girl: Are you going to services today?
And
you can't tell them to shut up, either.
Today, Randal Graves has written his first
news article; trust me, you will not be disappointed.
So, here are the articles for today:
Congress
Passes Law Legalizing Cock-Fighting - by Randal
Graves
Go
vote in the new poll and sign
the guestbook. Oh yeah, go see E.T: The Extra
Terrestrial.
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Posted by Disco
Stu 8:30 PM :: Sign
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Wednesday, March 20, 2002
And
the Oscar goes to...
As
promised, Renegade Monkey Nuns presents you with our
very first Academy Awards preview feature. The
article, written by Norm,
predicts the likely winners from the major categories.
Go watch the Oscars
this weekend and match your scorecard with ours... if
we're wrong most of the time, then... Norm is fired.
Just kidding.
In
other news, make sure to read the previous articles we
have which can be found by scrolling down and reading
the posts. The articles from Monday, March 18, are
especially spiffy.
Oscar
Time! - by Norm
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Monday, March 18, 2002
He's
at it again...
Recently,
the Bush Administration has asserted
that Osama bin Laden is no longer a viable threat
to the United States. The Defense Department has
been wary of releasing the reason why they
believe this to be true; but fortunately for you,
Renegade Monkey Nuns has procured a new video of Osama
bin Laden speaking with his associates that seems to
corroborate the administration's claim. You can
view the revealing transcript of the video by clicking
on the link below.
Anyways,
we have a lot of big stuff planned here at Renegade
Monkey Nuns. This includes an Oscar Preview by Norm,
new articles by Sideshow
Rob and Randal
Graves, and a massive article on the staff's
favorite movies (like the music
article we wrote together a while back).
There will also be a huge summer movie preview coming
at the end of June, so stay tuned for that. In
addition, I'm trying to find a way so that the other
writers may post stuff to the site from their own
computers without ruining the site. Oh yes, and I
forgot to add that there will be a Dennis
Miller article in there somewhere.
So,
here are the articles for today...
Osama
Loves Creed - by Disco
Stu
Argument
About Backstreet Boys and NSYNC Escalates Into Tickle
Fight - by Disco
Stu
Bottle
Man
- by Randal Graves
Finally,
go vote in the new poll and visit the newly completed
Staff
Page.
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Stu 7:00 PM :: Sign
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::
Friday, March 15, 2002
 Attack
of the Clones
I
just saw Ice Age at the AMC Theatre at Time Square. The
showing I went to (the 5:15 show) used digital
projection technology from Texas
Instruments--precisely the machines Lucasfilm hopes
theatres have by the time Episode 2: Attack of the
Clones comes out.
So, anyway, they showed the E.T. Anniversary Edition
trailer first, then the Hey Arnold Movie, and then a
Dreamworks animated film about a horse
("Stallion," or something). Of course, they
saved the best for last and showed the Episode 2
trailer titled "Clone War."
Since the projector was DIGITAL, the images on screen
looked absolutely amazing and pristine. I thought that
perhaps they wouldn't look as good on the big screen
as it does on Quicktime,
but I was wrong; you can clearly see Palpatine's aging
face, Yoda's facial mannerisms, and, most importantly,
nearly everything looked real! Plus, the sound was
great. Not surprisingly, the end of the trailer was
followed by "oohs" and "ahhs" and
a cheerful applause.
And here's an added bonus: Ice Age which, as you know,
is a completely computer animated film, looked
stupendous.
Enough
about Star
Wars. Norm
has cooked up two new articles, one in the News
section and the other in the Sports
section.
AIDs
and Cancer to Fight Each Other - by Norm
Grand
Theft Equipment - by Norm
I
also added a new Archived
Posts section to the site, so you can check out
past posts from the front page (I didn't want this
single page to take forever to load). In
addition, the Staff
page has been updated and will continue to be updated
until all the info for each writer is filled out.
+
Posted by Disco
Stu 9:30 PM :: Sign
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Tuesday, March 12, 2002
Always
remember, kids...
Anyways...
God,
I can't wait for the new Star Wars movie. I saw
the new
trailer on Sunday, but I wasn't instantly
impressed. On my TV, the effects didn't look
that good and the trailer itself seems to be
disorganized and hastily cut.
After
downloading it on QuickTime,
however, the trailer has grown on me like a tumor on a
Chyrnobyl resident. So, salivate until May, 16
when the movie finally makes it to thetres. Yeah, and
Natalie Portman is hot.
Plus!
Our newest writer, Randal
Graves, has cooked up this spiffy article about
how to get fired from your job.
How
to Get Fired From Your Job - by Randal
Graves
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Stu 7:00 PM :: Sign
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Saturday, March 9, 2002
UPDATES!!!
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This picture has nothing to do with the update. I just like monkeys. |
Just
when you thought it would be gone forever, Renegade
Monkey Nuns returns! I got a bit sidetracked
there (hey, you can't blame a guy for taking care of
college applications, school work, video games,
television, etc.), but the workload will be a eased a
bit in the coming months.
This
means ACTUAL WRITTEN ARTICLES. No, your eyes do
not deceive you. The other writers (Sideshow
Rob, Norm,
and Randal Graves)
also have less work, so this means they'll have more
time to write.
In
the past few weeks of not updating, I've also gone to
tons of interesting non-porn related sites. (Yes,
sites that do not involve pornography can be
interesting) Here are a few:
The
Official Bordering On Normal Web Site - learn
about the best punk band with a RMN writer in it (Randal
Graves). Join the fan club!
The
Spongebob Squarepants Character Test - Which
"Spongebob Squarepants" character are
you? When I took the test, I turned out to be
closest to Spongebob.
Political
Compass Test - How conservative or liberal are
you? Take this test and find out where you stand
and compare yourself to the historic people of the
20th century. (The site might be done due to
heavy traffic)
TheForce.net
and The
Official Star Wars Web Site - web sites devoted to
the best movies ever made. Download the Episode
2 trailers and salivate until May 16, 2002.
WhatIfSports.com
- Fantasy baseball at its finest.
And...
here's what you've all been waiting for: NEW articles to whet your
appetite for the coming weeks.
How
to Make Your Own Spanish Television Show - by Disco
Stu
Olympics
Fever: 10 Reasons Why the 2002 Olympics were Great
- by Disco
Stu
Fun
With CDNOW's "Album Advisor" - by Disco
Stu
And
here's a news article...
E-Mail
Promises 3 to 4-inch Penis Enlargement - by Disco
Stu
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Guestbook
Go
to the Archived
Posts section to see previous posts.
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